An Open Letter To Covid-19 Long Haulers

Friends,

After a year of dealing with COVID-19 many of us may feel like we have been through a long haul. Some have lost family and friends; some were sick and returned to good health. Some denied the existence, severity and science of Covid, some wore masks and some did not. Yet for true long haulers, symptoms can be debilitating and persist for months and likely longer. There is no identified or standard course of treatment. Specialized clinics have been set up with billions of dollars earmarked to study the phenomenon. The medical community is no longer rejecting the unique experiences of long haulers. That is progress.

My nuclear family got COVID-19 in October 2020 despite the fact that we followed the guidance and were more careful than most because of my husbands’ asthma. I watched my mother die on a ventilator eight years prior, so trying to avoid that for my husband was a top priority. It is probable that I contracted COVID -19 as a front-line worker while providing in-person psychotherapy to children, teens and adults battling against the psychological pandemic brought on by Covid-19.

The scariest part of the long haul is the uncertainty of the future, or even the day ahead. I consider myself lucky since my symptoms are daily headaches and chronic fatigue which fortunately allow me to work, albeit not as much as I would like. I know that some are not as lucky and battle severe symptoms which have completely altered everyday life.

As a therapist one thing I say to nearly all clients, children and adults, is that the only person we can control is our self. Only we can control our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. On a normal day, accepting this personal power can be enormous; but it can feel impossible when there is no day to day certainty, or even hour- to-hour. I am a therapist and long hauler. I am also a human being who is not immune to anxiety, sadness, or fear. While it may be more difficult now to try to control thoughts, feelings and behaviors, I think the ability to do so is our true source of power. Yet it is far from easy.

Below are five things that I have done to try to combat the psychological effects of being a long hauler:

1. Take each day at a time; each hour when necessary. Practicing mindfulness and being in the present moment is a huge tool that we can put in our self-help tool box to gain control of our thoughts which create our reality. Mindfulness can be achieved through meditation, coloring complex designs, knitting, looming, building with Legos and even origami. There are many ways to achieve mindfulness; find a few that you like. Instead of researching the bad things about Covid-19 long-haul take some of that time to find things which will help deal with the uncertainty, not perpetuate it.

2. Engage in non-essential activities intentionally and only when desired. We all have a certain amount of energy and time; choose things that bring you joy, not things that you feel obligated to do which only drain you. Now is the time to take care of ourselves. I have found that often starts with saying “no.” Asking for support and surrounding ourselves (likely virtually) with people who bring us joy, hope, laughter and kindness is crucial too.

3. Set limits about news consumption, unnecessary screen time and reduce social media exposure. It can be difficult to see that family and friends’ lives have returned to normal when we are left with no end in sight. It can be a challenge to see that friends or family members do not take Covid-19 as seriously as we do. As an essential worker, I do not want to see other people’s posts about how much people support front line workers and then see a picture where they are without masks and partying. The easiest way to control what we are exposed to is to turn down the volume, or change the channel. We are in control of what we feed our body, mind and spirit.

4. Practice any number of diaphragmatic breathing exercises which will help reduce feelings of anxiety and fear. Progressive muscle relaxation and guided imagery are tools you can put in your self-help tool box too. YouTube has a number of videos with excellent examples.

5. Practice gratitude. It can be very hard to be grateful when you feel unwell, exhausted or worried. Writing down five things a day you are grateful for despite how you feel provides a balance and focus that life is not all bad regardless of how we feel. Remembering that feelings are not facts is helpful too. Just because we don’t feel particularly hopeful, strong, or courageous does not mean that is the truth.

As long haulers the control we have rests with us. Covid-19 may have taken many things from many of us but only we can decide if we allow it to change the essence of who we are and how we deal with the curveballs that life throws. I choose rest, hope and peace. I hope you can too.

Fondly,

Allie Burke, LCSW